This post is going to be a little different, I've decided. Recently I've been having a bit of a writer's block as I haven't had much to write about. I've found myself alone in the house a lot recently which got me thinking, I do a lot of weird things that I wouldn't do if there were someone else in the house. Like belting out embarrassing songs at the top of my voice and having (often agressive) arguments with myself. I figured everyone does these things, right? so I had a think about it and I've come up with a whole list of things people do but don't talk about, or even admit to.
1. As soon as someone brings out a packet of soothers or other tasty throat sweets, you pretend to have a cough. I for one am guilty of this. Soothers just taste so bloomin' good! Peach and raspberry are my favourite. Perhaps you don't go quite this far, but if you are offered a soother, just out of the owner's generosity, I'm pretty sure everyone says "Well, come to think of it, I do have a bit of a scratchy throat."
2. Having arguments with yourself. This happens solely when I am alone. The amount of times I've had a raging argument with myself, playing my part and the part of the other person, is getting out of hand. Often I have to remind myself that I am in control here, there's no need for the other person to be swearing and shouting, even winning on occasion.
3. If you see a leaf that looks crunchy on a hedge, you have to pick it off and fold it in half or if you see an autumn leaf on the ground you change your pace in order to step on it. It's just so satisfying to feel that crunch between your fingers or under your feet.
4. Purposely changing your pace in order to avoid standing on the lines between the pavement tiles. This one's just a childish game that everyone plays at sometime. I used to have a little song that I sang as I hopped from square to square. Something about the bogeyman eating you if you stepped on the lines.
5. Suddenly realising that you're walking the wrong way so whapping out your phone and pretending to read a text then dashing off the other way so that it looks like someone's waiting for you. We've all experienced this and to avoid the embarrassment of looking utterly dopey you come up with a sly plan.
6. Crying at children's movies. Like Toy Story 3 and Bambi. I haven't watched Bambi since I was about 5 because I find it too traumatising.
7. Switching about the initials of everyone you know. Everybody knows at least one person who's name is hilarious when their initials are swapped around. I won't name names. If you've never done this, try it now. It's funny.
8. Pretending you don't speak English and 'inventing' new languages in order to have a conversation with yourself in gobbeldy-gook. Not so much now but when I was younger it was a regular occurance for me to be lying in bed making up words for my new language.
9.Looking through someone's camera and failing to take notice of pictures of anyone else but yourself. We're all guilty. You're not bothered about how nice Dave was looking last night. You only care what you look like (which was pretty fiiine, I might hasten to add).
10. Falling over and looking round to check that no-one else saw. If they did you start laughing and go "Oops, what a pleb!" If not you hastily stand up and walk off before anyone can ask you what on earth you were doing on the ground.
Most people will certainly be guilty of at least a few of these things, if not all of them. If you're not, you must be some kind of superhuman!